I don't wanna

If it's not one thing, it's another. How's that for a cliche. After having such a fabulous (insert sarcasm here) year, hubby getting hurt, me getting sick, etc. Now I find out that my landlord is having issues paying the mortgage on the house I'm living in. Another victim of our souring housing market. So after living here for a year, I'm now faced with having to move. AGAIN. Grr.

I don't like moving. I don't like finding boxes, packing all my stuff up, and lifting those boxes to move them somewhere else. I have a lot of stuff. I suffer from being a pack rat. Moving forces me to go through all my stuff and face the reality that I probably don't need all of it. I have a whole car space in my garage filled with boxes of stuff that haven't been unpacked since the last move, but I know that the minute I get rid of something I will then, of course, need it.

Then there is the fact that we really like this house. It fits us. It's got a great layout, and a pool! What are the chances that we will find another house to rent as teriffic as this one. The whole thing just makes me sick.

Puppy Luv

This is the good thing that has happened lately. My good friend Alisha took me out for some garage sale fun last weekend and this is what I found.

Not your typical garage sale find, but still a treasure. She is a chihuahua weenie dog mix and is only about as big as a monster energy drink can. We named her Roxy. She's so adorable and is going to be a good buddy for our other dog Max.

Don't ever say "I'm not dead", not even joking

Do you beleive in karma, or fate, or jinxing things? I don't know which this actually falls under, but two days after writing the last post that I jokingly titled "I'm not dead", I actually almost died. Creepy. That would be the reason for my absence the last 3 weeks. I've been recuperating.

Did you know that you can actually drink too much water? It's true. Although there were a couple other things that contributed to the seizure I had, that was the biggie. Apparently drinking too much water too fast seriously alters the amount of potasium and sodium in your blood, and those things are pretty important to your body functioning properly.

Then after the seizure there was too much of some kind of enzymes in my blood. You know how after you exercise you feel that burn in your muscles. That is this enzyme that is released by your muscles when they are torn. It's toxic. Well just imagine exercising every muscle in your body all at once. There was so much of this stuff in my bloodstream they were worried that my kidneys were going to shut down from the strain.

Through this whole ordeal I lost 3 days of my life. They had me so sedated that I don't remember them at all. That is the weirdest feeling for me. I'm a little bit of a control freak, a little OCD. Never in my life have I gotten drunk and blacked out or in any way done anything I didn't remember later. The closest I had ever come to that was that driving on auto pilot you do sometimes when you make the same boring commute every day that it becomes so routine and one day you arrive at work (or home) and think "I really don't rememeber driving here".

The whole thing has made me realize a few things. First, I have the most awesome husband in the world. Yes he may act like an overprotective as*#%@e sometimes, but it's only because he loves me so much. He actually told someone in the hospital that he would take me home in a wheelchair, drooling on myself, and still love me forever. It's making me cry again as I type it. Second, I am blessed to have the friends that I do. From the ones that stepped in to take care of my kids so my hubby could stay by my side in the hospital, to the ones that brought us food when we got home so he wouldn't have to cook, to the ones that have given me rides everywhere I need to go since I can't drive. Third, I realized that I need to stop taking life for granted. I need to stop acting like I can do anything and everything without consequence.

For years I have tried to do it all, work, volunteer, PTA, Girl Scouts, dance class, gymnastics, swim team. Trying to be the best mom and give my kids everything had me so run down that I was putting my health at risk. The doctor said that being over tired put me at risk for a seizure. The fact that my potassium and sodium levels were already skewed because of my diet soda habit probably contributed too, but I needed that caffeine to be able to get through my hectic days. Of course in the hospital nobody gave me 6 sodas a day, and luckily I probably slept through the caffeine withdrawl headache, but I came home cured of my caffeine addiction as well as with a new outlook on my life. I realized that I have three beautiful girls that need their mom. I still have a lot to do to raise them to be the people I want them to be, and I'm not going to be able to do that if I don't take better care of myself. I'm not done here yet.

I'm not dead

Sorry to all of you my faithful readers. Some of you that know me in the real world have told me you miss my blog. I apologize. Life just kinda got turned on it's head there for a while.

To answer the question about what happened with the meds. That's an interesting story, one that brought me full circle back to where I started from.

I started taking Adderall. The first three days were interesting. I felt a little more aggitated than I normaly do, but definitely more focused, and even though I was only sleeping about 6 hours a night I woke up feeling completely rested. My friends said I seemed calmer, and more relaxed. If it stayed like that it would have been cool, but unfortunately it went rapidly downhill from there. Within a week I was so exhausted by 4 pm that I had to take a nap daily. Not so cool when I have three kids that need to get homework done around that same time. It also cut into my blogging time. Then the foot cramps I get about once a week started happening about once or twice a day. Sometimes in the middle of the night and waking me up, and sometimes lasting as long as 30 minutes, even while walking around. I had my next appointment with the doctor at three weeks and after I told him what kind of stuff was going on he decided to try me on Strattera.

Strattera has a tendency to make you sleepy, so it's usually recommended to take it at night before bed. I took the first pill that night and woke up sooooooo depressed. It was not cool. I was crying for no reason other than I was crying. I couldn't get out of bed and just wanted to sleep all day. Either that or cry some more. My husband was out of town and I called him for support. The conversation went like this:

him: why are you crying?
me: I don't know
him: well you have to be upset about something
me: no, I'm really not
him: then why are you crying
me: I don't know
him: that's the craziest thing I've ever heard

Needless to say, I didn't take any more of that stuff.

I was also seeing a therapist during that month. I left most every appointment feeling like all he said was "you already know what to do, you just need to do it". He told me I needed to keep a detailed calendar, I do that. He told me I needed to have systems and routines in place so that I don't forget things, I already do have a lot of them. The rest of the things he told me I should be doing are things I have been doing with Kimberly for years. He told me to transfer that knowledge and make it work for me. There were a few nuggets of wisdom I didn't have already, but the majority of it was "you have managed to be quite successful thus far, and have developed some rather ingenious coping mechanisms, you just need to expand on those".

So after all that I have this realization. Yes, I have ADD, but just like I have been telling myself for the last few years, I manage it pretty well without meds. Sure I drink a 6 pack of soda a day, and sometimes forget where I parked my car, but in general, I'm not too much of a screw up.

So thank my friend Bethany for starting her own blog and sending me a link to it for getting me signed back onto blogger. Once I was here, it wasn't hard to write something. I'm going out of town for the weekend, but hopefully I'll remember to sign in on Monday and tell you about it.

Through the looking glass

Today was a big day. We finally had the 504 meeting, and it went better than expected. Kimberly's teacher came to the meeting with a list of accomodations that she has been providing and seeing success with in the classroom. Could this be the same woman who told me a few weeks ago that she didn't think Kimberly needed a 504? Now I have to wait for them to actually write up the plan and review it, but I think (finally) the worst of it is over.

As for myself, today was the day that I started my ADD treatment. I finally decided, after several years of speculating that I had it, to go and get myself diagnosed and see if it didn't make a difference in my life. It took quite a lot to get to this point. It's hard to admit that there is something wrong with you, and that you don't have control over yourself. I've spent the last few years believing that if I got this far without treatment I didn't need it. But just as I tell my daughter that she needs to take her pills to help her do better at school, would the pills not help me to do better in life? Am I setting a good example for her by not getting myself treatment? So I made an appointment and went. Even on the way there I debated whether I really wanted to take this step. After speaking to the doctor and going over the list of reasons that I felt I was most likely ADD, he agreed. He gave me a prescription and encouraged me to make an appointment with a therapist. This was already the next step in my plan because now I realize that I am not the things I have thought I was for so long. I'm not lazy, I'm not a procrastinator, I can finish what I start, but I needed the proper tools.

This morning was surreal. As I opened the bottle and took out the pill I thought about the consequenses (and the Matrix). Take the pill and know the truth. Take the pill and truly be awake for the first time. Take the pill and realize my potential. It was scary. There is something very comforting about what is already known. If I didn't take the pill my life would go on as it always had. I would continue to do the things I always did. I wouldn't have to re-learn how to do anything. I wouldn't have to admit I was less than perfect. I wouldn't have to face the world as an adult with ADD. I could go on being the quirky girl that my friends, husband, and kids love who can't ever remember where she left her car. In the end I chose to take the pill. We will see what happens now.

How a spider broke the closet door

I don't like spiders. Spiders are icky. I understand they perform a job and are important to our world. I know that we would be overrun by other icky things if we didn't have them. That doesn't mean I want them in my bedroom.

Tuesday morning Tiffany came into my room and shrieked "eww, a spider". "Where" I asked her, as she jumped up on my bed. She pointed to the spider that was on the floor just at the foot of my bed. So there we were, perched on the end of my bed, staring down this spider that was as big as a quarter and fuzzy. I called to Aimee "Are you dressed yet". "Yes" she replied. "Good, come here please and squish this spider." She came in, laughed and Tiffany and I, and squished the spider.

I called the pest control people and they came out yesterday afternoon. I spent the 32 hours in between these two events trying to get the kids rooms all picked up so the bug guy would be able to spray all around the baseboards in their rooms, lest any spiders try to snuggle with the kids. The kids didn't see what the big deal was and spent most of the time goofing off. They managed to break one of the closet doors in the process. What is it about a piece of wood hanging from two very little wheels that says "Hey, come lean on me, I can support your weight"? Needless to say, I was unable to get the wheels back on the little track. One more thing for Jay to do when he comes home this weekend. I'm sure he will be thrilled.

Cheaters Chicken Parmigiana

Cheaters Chicken Parmigiana

Breaded Chicken Patties
Spaghetti Sauce
Mozarella Cheese, Sliced

Spaghetti
1/3 cup Butter or margarine
1/4 cup Parmesan cheese (the kind that comes in a can)

Place one Chicken patty per person in a pyrex baking pan. Pour spaghetti sauce over each patty. Just enough to cover the patty, they don't need to be swimming in it. Place one slice of mozarella cheese on top. Cook in the oven at the temperature and time it says on the package of chicken patties. (Each brand is slightly different).

Boil spaghetti and drain. Melt butter. Add parmesan cheese and spaghetti. Mix until butter cheese mixture evenly coats spaghetti.

Serve the chicken either on top of or on the side of the spaghetti.

Enjoy.

What happened to Monday

Once again I'm a day late and a dollar short. It's Tuesday and I totally neglected to update my blog yesterday. It wasn't the only thing that was forgotten, but the amazing thing is.....

I actually sorted the sock basket. It's only been like 2 months.

This morning, out of habit, Kimberly came into my room to look for socks in the basket. I said "they are in your drawer", she said "what are they doing in there?"

We also worked on cleaning bedrooms yesterday. We can almost see the floor in Tiff's room now. Last night while she was sleeping, I went through her closet and sorted out all the clothes that no longer fit her and freed up about 30 hangers.

I won't bore you with all the other boring chores I did yesterday, but that is the reason I wasn't blogging. I was busy doing all the things that desperately needed doing around the house. Since my hubby has gone back to work, and stopped compulsively cleaning the house, it has gotten a little very messy. Tonight we have our Girl Scout meeting at my house, so there is a lot of cleaning left to do.

One of these things is not like the others...

One of these things just isn't the same...
One of these things is not like the others....
Can you guess which one?

If you haven't guessed, this is my unofficial theme song.

The latest offender would be my ADD child who left a spoonful of peanut butter on a spoon on my bookshelf, because that's exactly where uneaten snacks belong.

Happy St. Patrick's Day, Sort Of

So how many of you know that today is not actually St. Patrick's day, and that it was actually last Saturday? Apparently something weird happens when March 17th falls during holy week for Easter and St. Patrick's day gets bumped. I guess church and green beer don't go together. It's a shame, more people might show up. Here in the US nobody knew except me and one other guy. I wore green on Saturday, but not many other people did. You would have thought that the bars would have been all over it since Saturday is a much better drinking day than Monday, but they seem to have missed the news too. Today I wore a shamrock headband to work. I figured that since everyone was wearing their green today I might as well join the fun. It is my favorite holiday after my birthday and Christmas after all. This guy tells me, "you know today isn't really St. Patrick's day right?". I said "I know, but you and I are the only ones so I decided to join the fun." When he left he said "have a happy day". I think he was mad at me for being a sell out. Oh well.

So for those of you who were waiting for the corned beef and cabbage recipe, I'm sorry it's a little too late to cook it for tonight, and most definitely too late for last Saturday. The good news is, if you haven't bought yours yet, it should be really cheap tomorrow and it freezes well. I like to buy a few and then I can have corned beef sandwiches in July. So here is the corned beef in the crock pot recipe I promised last month.

Ingredients
3-4 potatoes
3-4 carrots
1 head of cabbage
corned beef brisket

Peel and quarter potatoes. Peel carrots and cut in half. Cut cabbage into 8 sections.
Place potatoes and carrots on the bottom of the crock pot. Place corned beef on top fat side up, along with all the juice from the package. Open seasoning packet and put that in. Add enough water to barely cover meat. Cook on low for 6-7 hours. Add the cabbage pushing it into the water around the meat. Cook for another 2-3 hours.

When ready to serve, remove the meat to a cutting board and let stand for 5 minutes. Cut into thin slices, against the grain. Serve with potatoes, carrots, and cabbage.