I want

I want my own office. I swear my next home will have one. It might be a closet, but it's going to be my little closet, soundproofed if possible. Two months ago I swore I would try to come back and blog again soon, and you know what, it didn't happen. I've got all kinds of excuses as to why it didn't happen, but mainly it's the lack of privacy. Not that I blog about anything sensational or anything, just that I need a little peace and quiet to be able to think and properly form sentences. Already in the first 5 sentences I've been interrupted. See? How am I supposed to keep a train of thought. Right now my desk is in between the kids' desk and my husband's desk. Usually he's playing music on his computer, one of the kids is playing Webkinz on their computer and the other two are fighting over the Wii in the room next door. I was an only child. Raised in a home with two people. I can't think with that many noises bombarding my brain and fighting for attention. With that said, I'm going to attempt right now to write about some of the things going on in my life until I get interrupted so many times I run away screaming.

I really shouldn't be doing this, but....

Anyone remember that business that the hubby and I started last year in Michigan? I don't remember if I blogged about it, and honestly, right now, I don't have time to re-read all my old posts to see if I did. Anyway... the exciting news is all of a sudden (and I mean that in the nobody knew we existed one day and the next day our phone was ringing off the hook kinda way) we started actually conducting business. What this means is the rest of my life got turned on it's head when this new 40 hour a week job fell in my lap. You see, I am the magic behind the scenes that makes sure that people pay us, that we pay the people who are expecting money from us, and that everything is legal. I already had a pretty tightly packed schedule with the job at the restaurant, parenting three kids, and being VP of their school PTA. So some stuff, ok a lot of stuff, has been being ignored while I try to figure it all out. One of those being this blog. And really seriously, I shouldn't be here blogging right now. I should be getting my kids ready for school, but I missed you my dear readers, all 17 of you.

So for now, I have this little snippet:

Conversation I had this morning with my daughter as I was trying to wake the kids without actually going upstairs to do it.

Me (yelling, but in a cheerful morning voice) : Little people, it's time to get up, time to get out of bed

Her (in a I'm faking being offended voice) : I'm not a little person

Me : Well not in the midget kinda way, but in the you aren't a fully grown human kinda way

Her : Okay, but I'm still not little

Me : Would you rather I told you to get your BIG butt out of bed?

Her : That would be kinda funny


Have a great Friday all, and I'll try to come back soon

Daylight Savings

I never really got the point of Daylight Savings Time. I mean, i get the line they feed you about giving you more daylight to bring in the harvest, but come on REALLY??? How many of us are actually harvesting anything nowadays? Then there is the whole thing with stretching it out an extra couple of months to help save electricity. So what's next? Pretty soon they'll tell you that Daylight Savings Time is the new TIME, and then will they create a Daylight Daylight Savings Time.

All daylight savings time is, is a government sanctioned way to f*#k with people's heads.
"Oooh, let's give them an extra hour so their kids will stay up way past bedtime and be all jacked up because they can't fall asleep because the sun is still out."
Insert sound of people who make black out shades cheering.
"Then a few months later we will take that extra hour back so they can spend a week trying to get the kids all adjusted to normal time again.

It's all a complete waste of TIME. You wanna know how I know this? It's because I've been off the Daylight Savings treadmill for the last 5 years. If Arizona has one redeeming quality, something so awesome it makes up for dealing with 120 days in the summer, it is the lack of Daylight Savings Time. We just don't do it. Maybe it doesn't stay light here extra long in the summer, but it still stays hot (100 degrees at midnight kinda hot), so I really don't miss that extra hour of sun at all. So the only effect Daylight Savings Time has on me is having to remember what time everyone else is now. When it's DST, California is the same time as us and it's now 2 hours later in Texas where my best friend lives. Other than that, life goes on like normal, no clocks to change, no trying to get the kids adjusted to the new time, no being late for church Sunday morning (not that I go, but there are a LOT of people in Arizona that do), no having to remember what day you are supposed to switch the clocks and which way you are supposed to switch them.

So yesterday and today when I read everyone's blogs and facebook posts about f*#king Daylight Savings Time, I consider myself very lucky to live in Arizona.

Crazy Week

Wow. Since my last post things have been kinda nutty over here. I intended to make the Taco Soup on Wednesday, but I realized later that I was short one can of pinto beans and the can of diced tomatoes with green chiles. The tomatoes with green chiles really shocked me too, because I use those all the time to make salsa. I usually have several cans on hand, but with the hubby being out of work, the pantry is not as full as usual. Since I really like green chiles, I didn't want to make the soup without them. Therefore a trip to the store was needed.

Wednesday morning was my first official shift as a server. It went pretty well. Then the manager asked me if I could cover a shift that night. Being the helpful person I am, I said yes. In retrospect I should have said no way in hell no. I had barely two hours from the time I got off until I had to be back. I was in no mood to go to the store during this precious reprieve from work, so I came home and sat down instead. Of course then I didn't want to get back up, but I did. The evening shift did not go as well as the morning. Some really big parties came in and where did they decide to seat them? In my section of course. My first real day as a server and they put a party of 10 in my section. I do not even want to attempt this and ask another server to take them. He just got sat a party of 6 and doesn't want both, so I offer to take the 6 and he agrees. Just when I'm thinking that things are under control, they seat a party of 16 people in my section. Of course I flip out and tell the manager on duty that there is NO way I am ready for that. Mercifully she gets another server to take the 16, but I have to take 2 of her tables in trade. That's cool. I can handle that. Or not. So now I have her two, plus the other guy's one, plus a couple in my own section and that's when things went downhill rapidly. I was so frazzled that I put the wrong table number down on one party's order, so of course their food got delivered to the wrong table. There went that tip. By the time it was over I was so mentally and physically exhausted I just wanted to pass out. Thursday morning I worked again. I came in and found that they had created me a special little 3 table section where no big parties could possibly be seated. Yippee!! The manager that was on Thursday morning was the same one that had been on the night before. She told me that she wanted me to succeed and wanted me to have a section I could handle. Thursday was a good day.

After work Thursday, I finally had time to go to the store and get the missing Taco Soup ingredients. By the time I got home at 4:15 after picking the kids up from school, I didn't exactly have time to start the Taco Soup and have it ready for dinner. And I had to leave at 5 to go pick up my oldest from cheer practice and then go to a PTA meeting at 6. I decided I didn't want to waste gas driving her home and then going right back to the school, so I whipped up some red beans and rice, packed some for us to eat and was out the door again.

Today I finally got everything for Taco Soup in the crock pot. Actually I got everything in but the meat. I left the browning of the meat and depositing it into the crock pot up to the hubby since I was running out of time to take the kids to school. Lately he's been taking them to school most days, but I needed to make fliers for a PTA fundraiser that is next week, so I took them. He did the meat and got it into the crock pot.

I have to say it turned out pretty good. I did add some water since some of the comments on the recipe stated that it wasn't very soup like. I didn't put a packet of ranch in there because it sounded slightly odd and to be honest, I forgot it when I was at the store. Today my mom emailed me a link to this online cookbook because of it's crock pot recipes. Taco Soup was in there too but theirs called for just one can of everything and the one packet each of taco and ranch seasoning so I wondered if it would be under seasoned. I finally decided to try some of the soup even though nobody else seemed to be hungry yet and did think that it could use a little more taco flavor. I just added some more taco seasoning, so we will see if that kicks it up a bit. I also added a drop of ranch dressing to my bowl to see what the ranch would do to the flavor after I had several bites. I was totally cool with dumping half a bowl if I didn't like it, but not so adventurous with the whole batch. I have to say, I liked the flavor that it added and I will certainly put the ranch seasoning in next time.

Gotta Love Him

All day today I've been mostly lounging and goofing around on the internet. A little Facebook, a lot of blogs. I've been here for hours reading my faves and finding new faves. So it isn't surprising that my hubby would like some attention. I'm in the bedroom with my trusty laptop. He's in the living room on the couch. He invites me to come watch a movie with him. It goes a little like this.

Him: Honey, want to come watch Descent with me?
Me: What's that?
Him: Some movie about girls that go underground and get chased by some creature.
Me: Um.... I think I'll take a big passeroo on that one good buddy
Him: Ok fine (in that it's most definitely not fine and you are going to hear about your blogger addiction from me later voice)
Me: Well sorry, but I'm not big into the whole creature chasing girls in rat tunnels genre of movies
Him: But the chicks are supposed to be hot

When I grow up Part 2

Ok, wow. What a spirited comment from my good friend Beth in regards to my last post. Out of everything she knows about me (and she knows EVERYTHING) this post shocked her. SHOCKED with capital letters even. And trust me when I tell you, there are a few other things that she knows about me that I would have thought she would find slightly more shocking.

So in light of that, yes, let me clarify. In Junior High, when asked, I wanted to be a stay at home mom. In High School I hated all those personality test things that were supposed to tell us our perfect career, because I wanted to be a mom. When I went to College, I took child development courses because they would help me to be a better mom. In freshman English I got a D on an essay I wrote on gender issues because the feminist teacher didn't like my stance on stay at home parents.

Basically I wrote a paper stating that I felt the decline of our society was caused by the lack of parental supervision at home. That I felt that in most cases most families could get by on just one income so that one parent (I didn't specify which one, because I don't think it has to be the mom) could stay home, but it would mean not having matching Beemers in the driveway of their McMansion. Seriously, how many hours a week do you think parents are working a week to afford that kind of shit? And meanwhile their neglected kids were building bombs in the garage or wreak other havoc in their neighborhoods. So I feel that if you are willing to forgo the Beemer and the big house to stay home with your kids, our world will be a better place. I sure as shit know that if my kids built so much as a pup tent in my garage I would know about it. And if they were having trouble making friends and acting odd, I'd take them to a freaking therapist, every day if necessary, until they were well adjusted.

But I guess I'm drifting a little off topic. By now you get Beth's point. You understand why her world got turned on it's head when I said that I feel that something is missing.

Here's the thing. Being a stay at home mom is still looked down upon. Even though there are websites like this momsalarywizard that tells me that the work I do for my family is worth $124, 628 a year (that's more than my husband makes, hehe). Like I said in the last post, my husband gets it. He didn't always. When I was pregnant with our first and said I wanted to stay home with her he said "Until she goes to preschool right?" Of course by the time she went to preschool I had another baby at home and the same with my third. Over the years I have had a chance to impress upon him the fact that it isn't just when they are small that they need parental supervision and guidance. I think all it really took was asking him if he really wanted our kids to be doing the things he was doing as a teenager while his parents were at work. So when our youngest went off to Kindergarten, he was in no big hurry for me to re-join the workforce. Although he humors me when I talk about a career, he's just as happy if I stay home. He really thinks that the part time arrangement I have right now is perfect. I work only while the kids are in school, and even though I don't make a lot of money, it gives me a little spending cash and lets me get out of the house and talk to some grown ups. He realizes now the importance of me being home when the kids get home from school. The fact that he has a pathological fear of school busses helps too.

I think it boils down to how you define success. I look at some of the people I went to high school with and they have become doctors and lawyers. No doubt people would say that they are successful. People look up to them for the fortitude they had to endure all those years of schooling to earn those degrees. I feel that my status as a stay at home mom isn't as prestigious. For some reason I'm embarrassed to say that I'm JUST a mom, and I feel the need to find some kind of career that will earn me the respect that the doctors and lawyers are getting, but at the same time I wouldn't be willing to sacrifice the time I have with my kids to have a career like that. Not for all the money in the world. Certainly not for a Beemer and a McMansion. So maybe what I should be looking for is not which career I should choose, but how to be proud of the career I CHOSE. Maybe I should stop worrying about what everyone else thinks, and listen to my good friends who know how successful I am. Thanks Beth.

When I grow up...

I am now qualified to serve people food. Today I passed the test that the restaurant gives to make sure you can sling food according to their standards. I'm still not graceful with the trays, but I didn't drop anything this week while I was training. We will see how it goes. I'm still not sure that this is the career path I really want to be on. I mean sure, if I keep doing it eventually I could become the manager, but is that really what I want to do?

I just turned 35 this week and I still don't know what I want to do when I grow up.

When I get on this kick, my husband tells me one of two things,

One, he tells me I don't have to work, and that being a mom to his kids and making sure they grow up to be productive members of society is a hard enough job. I know, he really is a prince, right? And for those of you who know him, and know that he can be an ASS sometimes, THIS is why I love him. Because when it comes to the really important stuff, he's good, he's really good.

Or two, he tells me to just pick something already, because you see in the 16 years that I have known him I have wanted to be :
A. The owner of my very own pool hall
B. High school math teacher
C. Bartender
D. Nail technician
E. Hairstylist
F. Graphic Designer
G. Coffee shop owner
H. Scapbooking store owner
I. Preschool teacher
J. Pharmacist
K. Interior designer
L. Artist

And in those years the jobs I have held are:
A. Daycare worker
B. Parking lot attendant
C. Car Salesperson
D. Car Service Cashier
E. Customer Service Rep
F. Accounts payable clerk
G. Human resources administrator
H. Tupperware lady
I. Automotive billing clerk
J. Starbucks Barista
K. Major chain bookstore department lead
L. Restaurant hostess

You would think that maybe, just maybe, out of all these things I would find the one that I was really good at, the one that I could see myself getting up to go do every day for the rest of my life, but no. It's not like I didn't like any of them, I just got bored. I think it's because of my ADD, but I've rarely spent more than a year at any job I've ever had. I just wake up one day and feel like the job is sucking the life out of me and if I stay there any longer I will curl up and die, and then I formulate and exit strategy.

So here I am at 35, still wondering what to do with my life. Maybe I am just meant to be a mom. Not that I don't agree that being a mom is a job in and of itself. Not that I don't think that raising productive members of the next generation isn't just about the most important job out there. But I still feel like something is missing, that I cannot spend the rest of my life being defined as someone's mom.

My latest kick has been the pharmacist thing. The years of schooling are something that I just can't get my head around though. Not to mention the money. One of my friends suggested that I look into becoming a Pharmacy Technician. The school isn't as long or as expensive, and it would give me a chance to work in a Pharmacy and see if I even really liked it enough to want to go spend years learning how to do. And if I got lucky, the pharmacy might help pay for some of the tuition to actually become a Pharmacist. So I looked into Pharmacy Technician programs and gave up because they still cost a lot of money and the schools were not exactly close to my house. Last week I found out that the local community college has a program and it only costs $915. The catch, the next class doesn't start until May. So come May, if my ADD hasn't sent me off in a completely different direction by then, I'll go. I actually did put a reminder on my calendar for April to remind myself to sign up, just in case.

Valentine's Day

Like Christmas, Valentine's Day is one of those days that my hubby and I mostly ignore. It falls at a time of the year that we are usually broke, and I'm not so into chocolates, flowers, cards, and especially lingerie.

Chocolate is not my favorite candy. I guess this makes me very un-girl like since chocolate is supposed to be like the best shit on earth for women. The problem with boxes of chocolate is this, I don't like any with creamy centers, or other odd stuff I can't identify. If they are filled with caramel they are good, all the others are nasty. When I was a kid I used to bite into them and if they were filled with yucky stuff, I would spit them out and put the other half, bite marks included, back in the box. My mom convinced me this was nasty and encouraged me to use a knife to cut them open to see what was inside. I would eat the caramel ones and leave the others, all cut in half, in the box. So it's just a giant waste to buy me a box of chocolates unless you like all the yucky ones and don't mind them all being cut in half. But then it's really a gift for you and not me then isn't it?

Flowers are also a giant waste. Sure they are pretty, but if you are going to spend fifty to a hundred bucks on me, well, I'd rather have something that won't be dead in a week. It just seems like an enormous waste of money to me. I would much prefer to have some new clothes or something for the house I can look at every day for years and remember that it was a gift.

Now cards are the ultimate waste of money three to five bucks for a piece of cardboard with some words and a picture. I NEVER buy cards. If I'm going to give someone a gift I'd much rather spend that extra few bucks on a nicer gift. I'm always the person shouting out "That's from me/us" at the party. Either that or the kids make a card. They make better cards than the stores anyway. If I'm getting a gift, I'd rather have a gift that I can enjoy, not a piece of cardboard that is going to end up in the trash with the flowers.

So that leaves lingerie. Lingerie sucks. It's uncomfortable and itchy, ridiculously expensive for what little there is of it, and well, you know I'm not going to be wearing it that long anyway, so really what is the point. I'm not going to enjoy one second of it, so it's really not a gift for me now is it?

The only thing I really like about Valentine's Day is the boxes of candy hearts. I heart those things. So do you think that my hubby thought that even though we are broke, he could maybe spend $1 to buy me a box? If he had, I would have been really surprised, but he didn't. So yesterday I hit up Target and got some for myself 50% off. For a dollar I got 8 packs. I'm happy. I also got some little stuffed animals for the girls. 50% off. They didn't mind getting them a day late. I think from now on, I'm going to celebrate all holidays a day late. Think of how much money I could save.

Clumsy girl learns to be a waitress

A few weeks ago I wrote about how I was going to start serving food at the restaurant where I work. How I was scared shitless about dropping trays of food all over the customers. Yeah. So the manager has apparently decided that I need the short bus training and scheduled me to learn to take to go orders before doing the regular training. I spent Friday and Saturday night learning how to input orders into the computer and practicing my new found skills on the customers who called ahead orders. Everything was going fine until they decided, in all their infinite wisdom, that I should take food to tables too. Now I realize that when I start serving I'm going to have to take food to tables, but I also know that I'm not going to start off working Friday nights either. This particular Friday night they were super busy and not only was the restaurant filled to capacity, there were three times as many people working as I am used to during the day. There were bodies everywhere and it was impossible to walk anywhere without bumping into someone. It was like trying to do brain surgery in a clown car. So someone decides it will be a good idea to send me out to a table with a GIANT tray, filled not just with baskets of burgers, but plates of entrees, something that is served on a cast iron plate, and SOUP. SOUP!!! What were they thinking??? I managed to carry the tray to the table, but there were no empty tables nearby for me to set this monstrosity on. As I was trying to maneuver my way around the table so I wouldn't have to pass food over their BABY, I got my right foot stuck on a high chair at the next table over. I feel myself about to not only drop the tray, but fall on top of it myself. NOT GOOD. So I put my left foot in front of me to try to avoid falling. I am now standing frozen with my left foot crossed in front of my right, knees bent, but miraculously still holding the tray. It was like a game of twister gone horribly, horribly wrong. The lady with the baby says "Good save". At this point I'm feeling pretty proud that I managed to not drop the tray, and I'm pretty confident I can stand up and get my feet untwisted without dropping the tray, but I still have no clue how I'm going to get any of the food off of it. Just then the manager saw me posing awkwardly with the tray and came over to help. I held the tray and she took the food off. All I can say is this is going to be an interesting experience.

Facebook might be evil

Remember my friend Facebook? Well Facebook is taking over my life. My hubby is calling me a Facebook whore. Between all the lame gifts and drinks everyone is sending me, I spend a lot of time on there just sending stuff back to everyone. The other day one of my friends sent me the never ending interview. Think of it as a meme that goes on literally FOR EVER. This is a problem for me. Although my ADD sometimes causes me to have the attention span of a gnat, I can also hyper focus. One of the ways I have learned to deal with the short attention span is to not stop anything before I'm finished, because I rarely will come back and finish. Now I get all anxious if I can't finish something. Consequently I spent ALL day on Sunday answering over 400 stupid questions and still never finished. On the plus side, in the last week I have reunited with lots of people from high school and even some from elementary school. Even though I could have gone the rest of my life without ever talking to some of these people again, it's kinda nice (in a creepy voyeuristic way) to see how their lives turned out.

So Far.... Not So Good

So it's been almost a month since my last post. Good thing I didn't wish to be a better blogger, because then I'd be definitely failing. Here is an update on how I'm doing on my wishes.

1. My next house will have a place for my crafting - FAIL

We have officially moved. My new house not only doesn't have room for my crafting, it doesn't have room for me. Or my big ass bed, pool table, most of my pots and pans, linnens, or anything else. The only good thing about it, is it's only month to month, so we are still looking for the house that will have room for my crafting. It's a good thing, because if I had to stay in this house too long, I think I would lose my mind. I seriously think some motels have bigger kitchens than this place. I spent this morning rearranging the kitchen because when we unpacked, we put all the cups in a cupboard that you can't get to when the dishwasher is open.

2. I will get my Etsy shop set up and start selling my crafts - C

I did get the Etsy shop set up, but since I can't find the craft supplies, let alone craft anything in this crackerjack box, the actual selling of stuff is on hold until we move again.

3. I will make enough money to buy the things I want (mainly new furniture) without pulling from the regular budget - A+

Although I don't have room to buy any furniture for this house, I am making progress towards increasing my income. I have decided to try a different project on that work at home thing that I did for a whole 3 days last year, hoping that people ordering flowers will be slightly more intelligent than pre-paid cellular customers. No offense intended to anyone reading this that actually has a pre-paid cell phone, if you are able to read this blog you are obviously not one of the 20 or so people I helped (or attempted to) in those three days. In addition to that I'm actually going to start serving food at the restaurant where I work, instead of just parking people in booths. I'm kinda clumsy, ok I'm really clumsy, and I've been scared shitless of dropping trays of food and everyone laughing at me, but it's time to play with the big kids. It's been a year, and because of my ADD a year is about the longest I stay at any job. Since the economy sucks and there aren't too many jobs to be had, I figure that rather than look for something that isn't out there, I'll just do something else where I am. I'm still scared shitless that I will drop trays of food, but oh well.

4. I will take better care of my health - B

I did actually find a doctor, make an appointment, and see that doctor. Of course she referred me to an ENT and I haven't made that appointment yet. Why? Because I need to have my tonsils out and I don't have time for that right now.

I also finally made an appointment to see the denitist to deal with the tooth that has been bothering me for months. Of course since I had ignored it for so long, it required a root canal, and $300 that I didn't have.

5. I will do a better job of keeping in touch with friends who are spread all over the country - B+

Wow, Facebook, you are my friend. So if my friends are on Facebook, I'm now in touch. For the people not on Facebook, well, I haven't quite figured out what to do about them yet.

6. I will put money away so we can take a nice family vacation this year - C

Since the hubby is still not working, right now we can't afford our bills, let alone save for vacation, but hopefully my different job endeavors will make this one a reality.

7. Lose the pesky last 5 pounds - FAIL

I was all excited this morning. I found my scale. It's been lost for 2 weeks since we moved. I have been able to get into some pants that I have not been able to for a few years, so even without the scale, I thought I was doing well on this one. So I found the scale and put it in the bathroom, in front of the toilet, on the rug, since the bathroom is so small, it was either there or in front of the sink. I weighed myself and it said I had lost 8 pounds since I wrote that last month. I was all kinds of excited. Until the hubby came to me and said "I think the scale might be broken". Apparently putting it on the bathroom rug was making it weigh about 10 pounds less than reality. So instead of being down 8 pounds, I'm really up 2. I think I'll put it back on the rug.

So that's pretty much the update. I'm going to be super busy the next couple weeks learning to not drop trays of food, and ordering people flowers for Valentine's day, I'll try to drop by and write, but I'm not promising anything.

It's a New Year

It's a new year and it's going to be great. We looked at that house yesterday and if all goes well will be moving in next week. I've been thinking a lot about what I want to do differently in 2009. Call them resolutions if you wish, but I'm just calling them wishes.

My wishes for 2009

1. My next home will have a place for my crafting.

2. I will get my Etsy shop set up, and start selling my crafts.

3. I will make enough money to buy the things I want (mainly new furniture) without pulling from the regular budget.

4. I will take better care of my health.

5. I will do a better job of keeping in touch with friends who are spread all over the country.

6. I will put money away so we can take a nice family vacation this year.

7. I will lose that pesky last five pounds.

Goodbye 2008

It's New Year's Eve. Tomorrow will be the first day of 2009. Here's to hoping that it will be a better year for us. 2008 kinda blew chunks.

In this new year there are many changes coming. I know we will be moving, but where is still a question. The hubby is still holding out hope for Michigan and starting his business, but I have my reservations. The kids and I have friends here, and after four and a half years, are finally kinda settled here. The thought of starting over again in a new town scares the crap out of me.

The move date is quickly approaching, and so we need to make a decision. Right now the house we have been renting is in escrow and the new owner should take over mid January. If so, we can stay until the middle of March, but no longer. If for any reason the sale does not go through we will have to be out by the end of January.

I've been looking at other houses out here and yesterday found a really nice one. It has a lot of really awesome features that I really love. I like the built in desk in the kitchen where I could put the computer for the kids to use where they could be supervised. Plus it has a 5th bedroom that I have already claimed for an art studio. The room even has wood floors. No worries about glitter in the carpet.

This past year I've really been noticing that there is something missing in my life. I feel like my entire identity is tied to being a wife and a mom. I'm wondering who I am. I realize that the one thing I really miss is my art. Whether it is doing crafty Christmas decorations, sewing, scrapbooking, or painting, I find that even though I have all the supplies, I don't have a place. Starting a project means finishing it and cleaning it up before dinnertime, so most of the time I don't even start.

Thinking about possibly having a place to call my own, a place where I could have all my stuff in one place and not have to dig it out of the garage when I want to work on something, makes me giddy. I don't want to get too excited yet, it's a little early considering I've only seen pictures of this house, but I can't help it, and that makes me nervous. Even as I write this I worry that I may be jinxing it.

And then there's this blog. When I started it in January, I had some vague ideas of what I wanted it to be, but it too has evolved and changed over the last year, becoming things that I would have never imagined. I feel that it too is having an identity crisis. On one hand it's a mom blog, complete with stories and anecdotes about parenting, but on the other hand, it's becoming a crafting blog, as I find more and more other crafting blogs, and get inspired to bring out the long dormant artist in me.

So the question is this... Do you find my blog to be a little schizofrenic? Should I split my blog into two? Should one be more of me on parenting the ADD child, and the other for me the artist showcasing my projects? I'm putting a poll in my sidebar so you can vote.

Movies and Moving

My morning started off with getting the kids together and heading for the movie theatre. After lightening my wallet considerably buying tickets, popcorn, candy, and drinks, we saw Bolt. Well actually the little two and I saw Bolt while the oldest and her boyfriend chose Madagascar. Bolt was really cute, and the really great computer animation of Hollywood made me homesick.

Then we came home and I made the little two sort through their boxes in the garage, trying desperately to slim down the crap we are going to have to move in what is now 31 days. This is Tiff sorting her stuff.

Notice how thrilled she looks? She was upset that it was taking so long. Do you also see that she is wearing a baby doll bib, one purple glove, an arm band, a watch, and a bracelet. This was before she put on the headband with two feathery antenae and a purple hair clip. She spent more time playing with the stuff than sorting it. She ended up purging one box of stuff.

Next it was Kimberly's turn. She didn't have as much to start with, and still managed to purge a box as big as Tiff did. I didn't get any pictures, because she was finished rather quickly. I think she may be the only one in the house lacking the pack rat gene.

Tomorrow will be Aimee's turn. She currently has more boxes than both of her sisters put together, but since I know she just packed everything she found into boxes, I'm sure once we remove the candy wrappers, garbage, hangers, and dirty clothes we should reduce her pile by half. That's the goal at least.

The Real Reason I Showed Up Today

Ok. I didn't just decide to blog about vasectomies today. I actually logged in to blogger today to update all my internet stalkers on the progress of our move.

We officially have a date. We still don't know where we are going. Nice, Huh? Ya. So on Wednesday I get an email from our landlord that informs me that she finally has gotten an offer on the house and there is some addendum these people want me to sign stating that I WILL be out by December 30th. So there it is. December 30th. 32 days from today.

Yesterday I crawled into a corner and hid. Not literally, but I did read all day which totally pissed off the hubby. We ended up fighting and then making up, after I explained to him that the only way I can cope right now is not to think about it. We don't want to move to Michigan until we have at least the beginnings of some investment in our business. Otherwise we are in Michigan with nothing to do but freeze our asses off. Have I mentioned that the highs there lately have been hovering around the freezing mark? Yeah, the HIGHS, freezing. WTF? So if we don't have some investment in the next 32 days, we are stuck either having to sign a lease on a place here for way longer than we are going to be staying here, or be homeless. I spent a good part of my morning yesterday trying to find month to month or short term rentals here in AZ. After not finding anything that would remotely meet our needs, I was in an understandably shitty mood. Rather than take it out on my family, I decided to leave them all alone and read a book.

So after explaining to the hubby that I wasn't trying to be mean to him, only trying to not lose my mind, he told me just to relax and let him handle it. Yeah, because that's so easy and I totally haven't tried that yet.

Monday Again

It's Monday and I'm not ready for it. I did manage to get the kids off to school on time, which was a major accomplishment considering that they kept going back to sleep when I tried to wake them this morning. I really need to make bedtime earlier. They also had clean clothes, because we managed to get a few loads of laundry done over the weekend, but it didn't all get done, and several loads are on my couch waiting to be folded. At least they are clean. When I asked Aimee to sort the laundry though, she totally forgot to get the hamper out of MY room though, so I had to do a load this morning, just so I could wear clean clothes today too. The house is a mess, again, because I spent most of the weekend polishing the business plan and being too brain fried to yell at the kids to pick up their messes. Somehow they seem to know when mom is off her game and take full advantage. So now it's the beginning of a new week, and I'm going to spend the whole thing playing catch up. Hubby was supposed to be home tomorrow, and now that's been pushed back until Friday. Who knows if that will stick. Someday I will see my hubby again. I really do miss him.

Everything and Nothing

I wish I had a nifty excuse for why I'm yet again being a terrible blogger. I don't. I can't even say that I've been busy, because even though there is a ton of stuff I should be doing, fact is, I've been spending most of my time reading books and trying to ignore anything that needs done. If I'm lost in a good book, I can't be stressed about the chaos in my life.

I'm still clueless about where I will be living in a month. The hubby is working on a totally awesome business idea, and if that comes through, we will be moving to Michigan. Until that is finalized though, there is nothing to do but wait. I can't even be seriously looking for a new place either here or there and the stress is making me nuts.

I seriously considered going to the doctor and getting on some antidepressants because most days I wake up and just want to crawl back in bed and hide. Since that isn't an option, I've been trying to make myself be productive. Last week I spent a whole day out in my garage trying to sort out what I need and what I can get rid of. I figured that one way or another, I'm going to have to move somewhere, and when I do, it will be easier without so much stuff. I got through everything on one side of the garage and it is my goal to work on the other side this week.

I also got started on my book. I finished the first chapter and have worked out most of the main story line. So far I'm laughing my ass off, so hopefully others will find it as funny as I do.

Oh, and last week some real estate agent locked me out of my house. My key being in the lockbox, I've been coming in through the garage, and instead of leaving things the way they found them, they decided to lock every possible lock, including the one from the garage into the house and my screen door. Plus there was yet another agent that showed up an hour past the window of time she had given me. I have now started asking all agents that call if they own a watch and can tell time.

Back To Reality

I'm back from my little vacation and I remember now why I don't like vacations. I never want to come back. It's like a tease. Like life is saying to me "Hey, this is what your life would be like if you were independently wealthy, but you're not, so HA HA, back to the grind you go". For three nights I stayed in a hotel where someone else made my bed and hung up my towel for me. I didn't have to cook because we ate out for every meal. The day I arrived I got to hang out on the movie set and met Kim Cattrall. Saturday the hubby and I went to an amusement park, something we hadn't done alone together since we first dated. Sunday we did a little outlet mall shopping and hung out. Monday the hubby had to be at work at 5:30 am, so I slept a little longer and then joined him at the set a while (like 4 hours) later. They were filming at this beautiful beach, some state park, on Lake Erie. It was gorgeous, but cold. I could have stayed there forever. We had lunch, and let me tell you, I love having lunch with the hubby at work. Movie catering is most excellent. I had some chicken with a cucumber sauce that I told the hubby he needed to get me the recipe for, veggies, and couscous. It was the best meal I had the whole trip. Then it was off to the airport. Sad goodbyes and hugs. Back to the rat race at home.

Toilet Tuesday

I did so good on Sunday that I gave myself Monday off too. Since the mopping was done and all. Did you remember to mop yesterday? Instead of house cleaning chores yesterday I went shopping. Got some new clothes for my trip this weekend, and new shoes. Oh how I desperately needed new shoes. Yay.

Today is Tuesday and today we are supposed to clean our toilets people. I'll do mine as soon as I get back from work. Which should be in like an hour. Does it count as work if you only do it a couple hours a week? If your last paycheck was $26? Part of me would like a new job, with more hours, more responsibility, and of course, more pay. The other part of me wonders when I would have the time to do that, and doesn't want to get tied down to a rigid work schedule. I kinda like the fact that I can ask for 4 days off and get them without question so I can fly off on a whim to see my hubby. That part of my job rocks.

The first part of me feels like a failure for not finishing my degree and for not having a "career" by this point in my life. The problem with that is I've never been able to decide what I want to do. I've dabbled in a lot of fields, and although there are things I have liked about all of them, there are also things I've hated enough to know that I don't want to spend the rest of my life doing them. Sometimes I'm so jealous of my husband who found a career that he loves and can do every day with happiness. I'm also so very thankful that his career makes enough money for me to continue to be indecisive.

So I'm off to work for a few hours and then I'm cleaning the potties.

Have a great day!!

Should Be Sunday

Today is Sunday. There are lots of things I should be doing. The house has backslid into chaos the last few days, laundry is piling up again, and I need to prepare for the trip I'm taking to Michigan on Friday. Instead, I'm sitting here on the computer. I'm wondering where all my blog friends are, since nobody seems to be updating their blogs either. Maybe they are all busy doing the things they should be doing instead of blogging. Maybe I should take the hint.

I'm rationalizing my procrastination by telling myself that it's really early and I shouldn't even be awake right now. Tiff woke me up early, upset that the tooth fairy didn't come (again). The tooth fairy is a forgettful chick. Sometimes days go by before she shows up. Part of the problem is the fact that she only has a $5 bill in her wallet right now, but mainly she just keeps forgetting. She could scrounge up 4 quarters if she remembered. She has terrible short term memory though.

So for now I'm going to sit here, cruise the internet a little while longer, drink some coffee and try to wake up. Then I will try to do something productive. The painter is supposed to come back today to do some touch ups and if he's done early enough and the house is cleaned up enough, maybe I can treat myself to something fun. I need to get a haircut and a pedicure before my trip on Friday.