Tuesday, August 25, 2009

And in other news

A couple of months ago my dog Max was finally successful in his attempts to lose his doggie virginity. After several failed attempts, he finally figured out where to put it, (not in her ear, not on her hip, not in her face), and ended up doing this....

Tiffany said they looked like Catdog. Anyone remember that show?
It was hysterical, because, she was right, they totally did.

So like a month went by and my little Roxy doggie did not seem to be making any womanly changes so I pretty much figured that Max hadn't been successful in his attempts to create an heir.

I went to Hawaii for 9 days to help my family, and when I returned, I found that my little doggie looked like this....

For those of you who are unfamiliar with what she looked like 9 days prior, well, let's just say she was about half that size.

So a little math was done with the help of that picture I took of them when they looked like Catdog, and it was determined that she would be having puppies this week.

Mind you, I never had dogs growing up, and certainly never had one have puppies so this was all new to me. Have you gotten a whelping box? Have you done this? Have you done that? Don't let her to this? Make sure she does that? OK, Ok, my head is spinning. So a week and a half ago I got busy building a whelping box. It was made out of cardboard because I'm currently pretty poor and I have an abundance of cardboard boxes left over from all the moving we did this year. I was all proud of myself for getting it done early since I tend to be a bit of a procrastinator. It totally had one removeable side so I could close them in or access them as needed.

The kids were all impressed with mom's mad cardboard carpentry skills.

So I'm thinking I have another week when last Tuesday Aimee calls me when she gets home from school and tells me "Roxy had her puppies!!" Wha?? That wasn't supposed to happen for another week! She tells me there are four and they all seem to be doing good. There was a black one, a tan one, a brown one, and a brown and white one. Aww.

Then. Like two hours later. After I had picked up Kimberly and Tiffany from school, Tiffany comes to me and says "Mom, now there are TWO tan ones. I just saw the other one come out of Roxy's BUTT." Holy cow. Five puppies were in my little doggie. FIVE. And they all lived. Everyone had told me that there was a good chance with it being her first litter that one or more would die. But they didn't. I have five of the most freakingly adorable puppies I have ever seen.

Can you see them all? The brown and white one is under her ear.

Here's a picture I took of just the puppies while momma took a potty break.

This one is my fave. One of the tan ones was totally laying on it's back to nurse.

Sunday, August 23, 2009


Today is my first day off in a week. I had plans for today. They involved me and a big body of water in my backyard spending some quality time together. I got up at eight a.m. and went outside to admire the beauty that is my swimming pool. There were some leaves and dirt in it from the storm we had the other night so I set to work cleaning it. I noticed a strange smell kinda reminiscent of pond water and a few little spots of algae starting to grow. Ruh Roh. When is the last time hubby tested the pool water? Before I went to Hawaii like six weeks ago?? Is there any chlorine in the floaty thingie? Nope?? What time does Leslie's open?? Not until ten!!!

Ten a.m. finally arrived and I took my pool water sample to Leslie's. Which is a pool supply place for anyone that doesn't have this particular chain in their state. A helpful but stillness challenged guy named Mike tested my water. It made me a bit uneasy watching him as he rocked back and forth and seemed to be doing some kind of intricately choreographed dance with my water sample. Really I think Mike is in the wrong line of work. Exotic dancer maybe would be more up his alley the way he was moving and grooving while adding drops of this here and inserting a test strip there.

His conclusion was that I needed thirty five dollars worth of chemicals and crap in addition to the small stockpile of chemicals and crap I already had at home. And the kicker? I can't swim in it for two days!!! Two days!!. Asking if I could swim in it today and start putting the chemicals in it after actually got Mike to stand motionless for half a second while giving me a disgusted look. "I wouldn't recommend that, it's not safe" he said. Fuckstockings!

Plans for the day ruined I returned home with the chemicals and a sheet of instructions that Mike had printed for me, where he carefully highlighted all the parts that say add this crap, wait 12 hours, add more crap, wait another 12 hours, add even more crap, wait another 12 hours, and then you can swim. He used a sharpie to cross out all the other stuff that I'm sure included the location of the magic wand that would make my pool swimable today.

First step, backwash the pool filter. Have you ever back washed a pool filter? This is similar to making the vacuum blow and not suck and forgetting to take the dirty bag out first, only with water. Lots and lots of water. Where does this water go you ask? All over the flipping yard! Unless you are my husband. He likes to direct the hose over our back wall and into the church parking lot behind us. However, today being Sunday, and church being in full swing, I was afraid someone might notice the bright blue hose spewing dirty pool filter water all over their parking lot.

So with my backyard resembling a swamp, or a rice field maybe, it was on to the next step. Add some algae killer stuff. The kids commented on the beauty of the blue crystals as I sprinkled them into the pool. Pretty and functional, that's my kind of product! That was followed by some shock. A nifty name for a crap load of chlorine, I think. Boring, unpretty, white powder. Then, nothing, until 11 p.m. tonight when more shock goes in. So all afternoon I've been looking at my pool, which looks deceptively clean and sparkly but which is either still a pond in disguise or has enough chemicals to eat your skin off, I'm not sure.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Back to School

Today my kids started school.
My oldest... officially a high schooler.
My little two.. sixth and third grade.

It really seems like we just did this. Hard to believe it was a year ago already.

They say time flies when you are having fun, but I think time just flies. Every year that goes by seems to go by at a rate exponentially faster than the one before. I remember with my first I couldn't wait for her to reach the next milestone that "What to Expect the First Year" told me she would. With the second, I eagerly awaited the next step in hopes that the screaming would stop (if only I knew she would be 9 before she could effectively use her words). With the youngest, I had finally learned to stop looking forward, and just enjoy NOW. I relished every moment of what she was doing right now, without being in a hurry for what would come next. Of course right now she is going through that inquisitive phase where she asks a bazillion questions a day, and well frankly, I wouldn't mind THAT being over.

Today my littlest one got up at the same time as her big sister the high schooler. The high school starts two hours earlier than the elementary school. Meaning that my little one was up, dressed and ready to go THREE hours before school was going to start. So for three hours I endured her endless questions about everything from lunch, to when the puppies are going to be born. She asked about a hundred times when we were going to leave for school. She asked about her birthday that is still weeks away and why mommy likes coffee so much. She asked and asked and asked, and finally I smiled thinking that today, for the first time in two and a half months, for 6 whole hours, she'd have someone else at which to direct her questions.