Tag

Lena tagged me for this so here you go. 7 things you may or may not have wanted to know about me.


1. I can't stand the feeling of air blowing on my skin. It can be 120 degrees here in Arizona, but if someone throws on the ceiling fan, I cover up with a blanket.

2. I still can't sleep with any part of my body hanging off the bed for fear that the monsters under the bed will grab me.

3. I read really fast. I can read a 500 page novel in a few hours and usually read about 20 books a month.

4. I can only eat quantities of Oreos divisible by the number 3. One time I had 3 Oreos left and my mom ate one. Then she got all mad when I told her she might as well eat the other two, because now I couldn't.

5. My favorite foods are lobster and cheesecake, but not lobster cheesecake, that's just gross.

6. I'm allergic to exercise. Seriously. I break out in hives.

7. I'm freakishly double jointed.

I tag

Beth
Maria
Monica
Alisha
Mr. Lady
Dawn
Jenny

Award

Lena gave me this award.

Translated: "This blog invests and believes in the PROXIMITY - nearness in space, time and relationships! These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in prizes or self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers! Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award."

I pass this award on to

Monica because she is the farthest away physically, but her blog keeps her close

Mr.Lady because she cracks me up, and I'd love to have a drink with her sometime

Molly because she is like me fighting for her child to get the right diagnosis and fighting the school system to get her son the help he needs. Her blog makes me feel not so alone in my struggles.

Maria because she gets all of Blog Land together for virtual parties

Beth because she is so honest of her stalking love of Dooce.

Alisha because she is all over the internet from blogging to mom forums, and is the most in touch with people on the internet person I know.

So that's only 6. I guess I need to start following more blogs so I have more people to give these things to.

It's a Christmas Miracle

Tip Junkie is having a Virtual Tour of Homes. Some of these ladies have the most amazing decorations. I'm definitely inspired for next year. I hope everyone enjoys checking mine out.

I actually posted this several days before signing up for the home tour, so for those of you that are new to my blog, here's the Cliff's Notes version of my life for the last few months that will make the rest of this post make sense (or you could just look at the pictures). The house that I am renting is being foreclosed on and the owner has had it up for sale trying to save her butt. There is finally an offer on it and we had been told we had to be out by December 30th. So I wasn't going to put up a tree or decorate, and put up a Charlie Brown tree instead.


Yup. That would be my real Christmas tree, up and decorated in my house. If you would like to see more detail of my ornaments, you can click here. Last weekend we got a call from the agent representing the buyer of our house. The buyer who isn't really in any big hurry to kick us out, but was worried we'd give her a hard time because apparently my landlord has been talking shit. Telling the buyer that I was angry and bitter, and had stopped paying rent. Damn Skippy I stopped paying rent. I was pretty sure the landlord already spent my deposit and I wasn't getting it back without taking her to court, so I told her to use it for the rent for the last couple months, and I've been putting my money in the bank instead. So last Saturday the buyer came over and after a lengthy chat she said that she was in no hurry to move in. In fact she said that she wouldn't be able to move in right away because she had 23 years of stuff to go through in her current home. AND she said she would be happy to rent to us month to month until we figure out what we are doing. So with the pressure off of having to move 5 days after Christmas, we went ahead and put up our tree.

And all of these guys. The mini tree that I made 100 of for my kids old school's Christmas boutique. The little sock snowman, and coke bottle reindeer that one of the kids made The origami trees my kids are putting all over my house. The Christmas tree made out of bulbs that I bought at Harrah's after Christmas for like $5 bucks, Score! The 2x4 snowman that one of the kids made, and our advent calendar.

And... my gingerbread villiage.

The Charlie Brown tree is still up too, but it's not the only thing now.

I just made this wreath. For more info about it, you can click here.

This is the birdhouse I've had for about 10 years and finally figured out what to do with thanks to my friend Maria .

And finally, this is what we do with our stockings in Arizona since we have no mantels.

Winner

Ok, so my whole week flew by and I never even went near my computer. I have so many things to blog about, I hope to find the time this weekend.

I woke up this morning and realized that I never got on last night to announce the winner of my contest. I have decided that Alisha had the best story. Maybe because I know her personally and the thought of her in a pink poncho reduces me to hysterical laughing fits. I was really hoping that more people would enter my contest and that the winner would be someone way out there in blog land, but when I only have like 3 loyal readers, I guess that was too much to hope for. I'm giving honorable mention to Lena and her Harold and Kumar poster.

Contest

It's December and Christmas is coming. That means, inevitably, bad Christmas gifts. We all have that one family member that always gives crappy gifts, and that my friends is good blog material. So I'm doing a worst gift ever contest. Up for grabs is a $20 gift card to Target, so you can go get yourself something good.


Here's the deal. Blog about your worst Christmas gift ever and link back to this post. You can even steal my nifty logo that Alisha designed for me. In fact please steal my nifty logo. Make sure you leave a comment on this post so I know to go read your blog. Best story wins the gift card. I'll announce the winner on Friday December 12th.

My story is about my mother. She is incapable of giving a frivolous, enjoyable gift. She is practical to the core and her gifts are always things that she thinks you really need. A couple of years ago she got me a vinyl shoe rack that hangs on the back of a door. She decided I needed one because I had about 20 pairs of shoes stuffed into a spare closet. The shoes were in the closet because I needed to sort out which to give to Goodwill and which to throw away. I wasn't planning on keeping any of them, therefore I didn't need a nifty storage system for them. What I needed was more hours in the day so I would have time to do all the really important stuff that needs done and have time left over to sort shoes. The shoes weren't bothering me, but apparently they were bothering my mother, so I got a shoe rack for Christmas. Then my mom got all butt hurt when I didn't do cartwheels with excitement about this gift. It's a freaking shoe rack. Even if I had needed one, it wouldn't have been cartwheel worthy. So now I don't even bother to hint around about what I want for Christmas, I make sure she knows what I need. At least that way I can try to act excited and at least use the gift she gives me. This year I asked for a memory foam pillow. Still not cartwheel worthy, but at least I'll use it.

Here Kitty Kitty

Yesterday I posted about my dogs. Lena sent me a comment about her cats. So I decided that today I will tell you about my cats. They are interesting too.

This is Gargamel

Any of you other children of the 80's will be saying "Why does that name sound familiar?" Some of you might remember even. It's from the Smurfs. Specifically the wizard. Remember the wizard had a CAT. The cat's name was Azrael. So why is my cat named after a wizard you ask? Well that story goes back about 10 years.


My sister in law had a female black cat named Princess. Princess wasn't a good name for this cat, because she was a Witch. Not a sweet thing, but the kinda cat that will hiss at you, won't let you pet her, and will swipe at your ankles with her claws as you walk by her hiding spot. So one day my sister in law tells me that they and my mother in law were going to look at some kittens that someone they knew had. They go to look at the kittens and come home with 4. Yup 4. Two females and two males. Granted, they were cute, all were some type of Siamese or Himalayan, the girls were short haired and the boys were long haired, but now they have 5 cats. A month or so goes by and I tell them "You know you should get these cats fixed right". And they say, "We don't really have the money right now, and they are too young anyway". I tell them "At least get the two boys fixed, they are old enough to get fixed, and boys are cheaper". Nope. Fast forward a month or so and SHOCKER!! Princess is pregnant. They insist it wasn't any of the cats in their house that knocked her up but instead Princess had gotten out and some neighborhood cat had knocked her up. Ok fine. So when the kittens were born, don't ya know it, they all had these Siamese markings and several were long haired. Huh. I wasn't surprised. And there were like 6 kittens. Are you doing the math? Yup, that's 11 kitties so far. One of those was Gargamel. They decided to name him Gargamel because they thought he had an attitude, like the cat in the Smurfs, but they ended up naming him after the Wizard instead. This cat didn't have attitude. He let my three year old carry him around like a rag doll. Every time we visited she loved on him and he loved her back. We wanted that cat, but couldn't have any more pets where we were living at the time, so I told my mother in law that Gargamel was Aimee's cat and I would take him as soon as we moved into a bigger place. Eventually we did.

This is Kasey

Kasey also came from my in laws house. In 2004 my other kitty passed away. Gargamel was lonely and the kids wanted another cat. I had been wanting a Lilac Point long haired Siamese, so that's what I was looking for. One of my mom's friends was fostering a litter of kittens for the animal shelter and had told me that she had one. I told her to let me know when they were old enough to be adopted because I wanted the female. The date that she told me they would be ready came and went and I hadn't heard from her. Meanwhile my mother in law had been pestering me to come and look at this kitten that they had. She described her as "kinda ugly, but really sweet". My hubby insisted that we were only getting ONE more cat, so I was holding out for the Lilac Point. One weekend we go to visit and of course the kids want the ugly kitten, and since I haven't heard from my mom's friend we bring her home. Now remember the 11 kitties from 5 years ago. They still haven't fixed any of them, so their numbers have grown exponentially. I have no idea by this time how many cats they have. Kasey is like 8th generation inbred. She has the same sweet temperament as Gargamel, but she is as dumb as a hill billy. She's a good cat though.




Here comes the funny part.

This is Mystery

Remember that kitten that my mom's friend was fostering. LOL. I kid you not, the Monday after we brought Kasey home, I return from taking the kids to school and find this message on my machine. "Hi, it's Mary, I just wanted to let you know that the kittens are ready to be adopted. I took them in this morning to get fixed and since I knew you really wanted the female, I paid for her for you. I'll call you this afternoon after I pick her up." So now I have the choice to either royally piss off my hubby, or embarrass my mom by not taking this kitten that her friend has PAID for already on my behalf. Crap. I decide that my mom's wrath is going to be worse than the hubby's. So that night my hubby comes home to learn that we now have 3 kitties. Obviously he didn't kill me. Now this kitty must have come from a feral mommy, because she was scared of everything. Since Gargamel was Aimee's cat, and Kimberly claimed Kasey, this new kitty was Tiffany's. Tiff was 3 at the time. This cat wanted nothing to do with a 3 year old. She didn't want anything to do with me. Any time Tiff tried to pet her she would hiss. We were trying to think of a good name for her, and the kids decided to call her Mystery since they couldn't figure out what her deal was. Mystery has become more my cat than anyone else's, because she still hides from the kids and only comes out at night when they are all asleep.

Smart Dog, Dumb Dog, Smart Owner

I have two dogs.

One is smart.

One is dumb as a box of rocks

I'm not trying to be mean. It's just true. After living in this house for over a year and repeatedly trying to teach the dumb dog how to use the doggy door, he just didn't get it. I thought maybe the door was too hard for him to push or something, being that he is a very small dog. So this summer we got the puppy. She was just slightly bigger than a soda can when we brought her home, and you know what? Within 2 days, she walked over to the doggie door and went outside by herself. So much for that theory. So now I think, "ok, dumb dog will see her doing it, and he will figure it out". Nope, he just watches her go through it and stands there with this dumb "where did she go???" look on his face.

So now it's starting to get cool at night, and I'd like to bring the dogs in so they don't freeze, but dumb dog throws a fit anytime I put him in the crate. He scratches and barks until we let him back out. So I got this idea.

Yup that would be the crate pushed in front of the doggie door, so that any dog who wishes to come in from the cold may. Notice the smart dog has already figured it out.

Search Engines

So today I was checking my weekly stats. I have this gizmo on my blog that will tell me how many visitors I've gotten in the last week, and how they found me. Some are clicking a link on someone else's blog (and for that I thank everyone who links to me), others come directly because they have bookmarked me (also very cool peeps), or they find me by a search engine. If you don't have one of these gizmos, I highly recommend you get one. Just for the pure enjoyment. It cracks me up to see some of the things people are searching for when they reach my blog. Here are some highlights.

A lot of people out there are looking for Cookie Dough Dip Recipies. I thank Alisha for giving me that recipe.

There are also a lot of people who want to know about lizard's swimming skills.

Others, well.... I'm not quite sure what they were looking for.

Like this

chuckecheeses' heigh ho heigh ho its off work we go snow white
What exactly was this person trying to find?

funny first day of school on the short bus for cell phones
I'm picturing a bunch of special cell phones going to their first day of cell phone school on the short bus and having hillarious adventures.

i left bananas in my car
sucks to be you. they really stink up the place.

i found a lizard in my pool what can i do?
Hmm, I don't know, how about take it out? Unless you want rotted dead lizard parts floating around in there.

pool pump keeps louder noise
Good. I'm glad it kept it. I don't want it. Some people seem to be verb challenged.

good 12 year old phone
If it still works after 12 years it's got to be good.

Several other people were actually looking for a good phone for a 12 year old and while I don't think my blog offered them any hints as to what phone to buy, I'm sure hoping they all blocked premium text messaging.

All of these I can kind of see how they ended up on my blog. Even the chuckecheeses/snow white guy. I do have a Chuck E Cheese post. But this last one leaves me absolutely clueless.

she liked it rigid
Wha??? I'm pretty sure they might have been looking for some "other" type of blog. What in the world made Google think they wanted me??

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas, In A Sad Kinda Way

This morning I woke up to two of my three kids barfing. Yay me! Thanksgiving morning my mom called to tell me she was sick and throwing up. She offered that the hubby and I could come over and cook all the food. Yeah sure, and be around all the barf germs, no thanks. So her next suggestion was we just do it on Friday. Ok. Hopefully then we would know if it was a flu thing or a something she ate thing. Friday she said she was feeling better and was sure that it was something she ate. So we went over for dinner. Apparently it wasn't because now the kids are sick. What fun!

Now of course I'm out of Gatorade, Sprite, and all the other things that barfing kids need. I decide to run over to Walgreens and pick some up.

You won't believe what I found!

Remember yesterday when I said I was just going to do a Charlie Brown Christmas Tree?

Well guess what they had for sale at Walgreens, for $9.99.

Yup. It's a Charlie Brown Christmas Tree!!

Virtual Decorating

Have I ever mentioned that Christmas is my favorite holiday ever!!! Well it is. And it bums me out to no end that I have to move 5 days after Christmas. Actually sooner, since I actually have to be OUT of the house 5 days after Christmas. Which means I can't even think about putting up a tree and decorating my house. I usually put up a ton of stuff and a giant tree, and once I get it up, it stays up until like the end of January before I have enough energy to take it all back down again. Hell, I just put away my Halloween decorations today! There was also no way I was going to to be able to talk the hubby into putting up lights. Usually it takes three acts of Congress and me threatening to get on a ladder and do it myself before he will do it, and then like the inside stuff, it stays up way too long. Usually until we get nasty notes from the HOA telling us to take them down. So I'm thinking about hitting up tree lots for the Charlie Brown Christmas tree. You know the little stick with one ornament and Linus' blankie for a tree skirt. Yup. That's what I'm doing this year. So since I can't decorate my house, I decided to decorate my blog. I put up a new Christmassy background, and updated my playlist with all my favorite Christmas songs. Enjoy.