I need a minion

I've always made lists. It's a coping mechanism I taught myself at an early age to deal with my ADD. Even though I didn't know that I had ADD until a few years ago, I knew I suffered from CRS (can't remember shit), so I made lists. Then in 2001 I was in a car accident that scrambled my brain a little and wiped out my short term memory, and I really needed my lists. Before the days of Blackberrys I had a day planner. I'd write down all my appointments and refer to it daily. It had a leather cover and I lovingly called it my Bible. If it were not for that day planner, I probably wouldn't have made it through college. Whenever I had something particularly important to remember, I would enlist the help of friends to give me a call to remind me to look at my day planner. Now I set my Blackberry to remind me. If I lost my phone I would be so dead.

We move in 32 days. I have so much to do, I have multiple lists. I made a big calendar of the six weeks leading up to the move on a poster board. I needed to be able to visually see where the openings were in my schedule with one look. There is a lot going on in the remaining 4 weeks. Forgetting the move for a moment, there is the stuff of normal life that usually keeps my days quite full. There are dentist appointments, doctor appointments, therapist appointments, orthodontist appointments. There is endless laundry to do and weeds that seem to grow back as soon as I pull them up. Then there are the things I have committed to doing such as the American Cancer Society Relay For Life, the school PTA carnival, and chaperoning my 3rd grader's school field trip. Once you add in the move, there is the trip to Disneyland with our cousins from California we are making because we don't know when we will be anywhere near California again, a going away party, and garage sales that need done. The car needs new tires, an oil change, and hopefully a DVD player installed. Have you noticed that I haven't even mentioned packing yet? Somehow I have to fit that in between all that other stuff. And I do mean "I", as in there is only one open weekend left on my big calendar and the hubby might show up at home a week before the move and the kids are in school all day every other day. Oh, and just for the record, we still haven't found a house in Michigan.

So I have lists.

A list of things we need to get/take to the Relay For Life

A list of things that need done to the car to make it roadworthy

A list of things we need to pack for Disneyland

A list of things I need to make sure don't get packed and go with me on the road trip to Michigan

A list of things I need to fix so I get my deposit back

A list of things we may need before we have a new home and therefore need to be on the ass end of the moving truck in case we need to access them while it's in storage

A list of what is not getting moved and getting sold in a garage sale

A list of the hotels we are staying on our road trip along with the touristy stops we are making along the way

Each day I make a to do list for that day. Each day I feel that things get added to my list faster than I can check them off. I need a minion to help me get this all done.

Faith Part 2

Once again I find myself needing to let go of worry and have faith that everything will work out in it's own time. I've been very stressed lately. The much anticipated move to Michigan is rapidly approaching. The moving truck comes in 42 days. In 43 days I set out on a cross country adventure with three kids as well as dogs and cats in tow. The insanity that is trying to drive small humans and pets cross country is going to be lessened by the fact that we are taking a little longer route so we can visit friends all across the country along the way.

Little by little things are coming together. I've got movers booked. I've got friends that volunteered to help. I've planned the road trip and know everywhere we are going to stay along the way. I'm making appointments to get new tires on the car and a DVD player installed for the trip. The last remaining detail is where the movers will be delivering our belongings and where exactly the endpoint of our cross country journey will be. The huge boulder in this path is that we are looking for a house to rent in a small town where there are precious few rentals.

So here is the part where I need to have faith. I went out there in March and the hubby and I looked at a lot of houses in a lot of towns much like the town we live in now, a suburb with mostly tract homes. What we decided is what we really wanted was a house like the one where we were staying. A house on a large lot (13 acres) in a small town. We want to give our kids room to roam and the ability to have things they've never had, like the ability to have big dogs and Kimberly wants to raise chickens. We can't do that in a tract home in the suburbs. We want our kids to have the experience of living out in the country in a small town with small schools where the teachers have the opportunity to build a relationship with each student. We decided which small town had all the things we wanted.

For the last month we have looked and looked in this town for a house for us. So far it isn't there. I'm getting worried. I'm losing sleep. So now it's time to let go and let the solution work itself out. Our perfect house is there somewhere. The one with the porch I can put a rocking chair on and the pond that the hubby can stock with fish. The one where Kimberly can have her chickens and I can plant a garden. It will have a big laundry room where I can sort and fold all the clothes without bumping into things. It will have all the room we need for our family and our enormous home office. It will have room for the piano the kids want me to get so they can take lessons. I know it is there and I just have to have faith that it will find us.

My people

Ever watched the show Hoarders and thought OMG, how do those people live like that? Or OMG that's so gross? I watch that show and think OMG I'm one major traumatic life event from being like that. Now don't get me wrong, my house is no where near what's on that show. I'm in no danger of being evicted or losing my kids, I don't have vermin, and there aren't piles of stuff as tall as me in my house. In my garage it's another story. I mainly have a clutter and organization problem, but I do have an unhealthy attachment to stuff.

I once had a therapist tell me that clutter in your home is an outward expression of clutter in your mind. I can see that. I know that both stress me out. I'd love to live in a home where everything was tidy and just so, where there was a place for everything and everything was in it's place, but I have major problems with putting things away when I'm done with them, and having more things than I have places. My garage is the catch all for this stuff.

Now I know I don't NEED all the stuff. I can tell you that there is stuff out there that has not been unpacked since we moved from California five and a half years ago, but every time I sort through the boxes I find reasons that I can't let it go. Either I'm worried that I'll need it as soon as I don't have it anymore, or I feel it's worth too much to just sell in a garage sale or give to goodwill.

With our move to Michigan just four months away, again I'm faced with thinning out my possessions to make them easier to move over 2000 miles. Last week the hubby and I went through the garage and had a garage sale. We didn't get through all the stuff in the garage, mainly because there wasn't enough room to work, but we did get through quite a bit. I managed to sort about 12 tote buckets for the garage sale and whatever was left after the sale went to goodwill. I gave one trash bag full of clothes and toys to my friend, and I have a box of stuff to put on ebay. That was supposed to be my project for this week, but I haven't gotten to it yet. Ok, so I have a procrastination problem too.

I'm totally stressing about the enormity of this move and have set a goal of sorting and getting rid of stuff every week to make it go more smoothly. So far this week, I've done zippo towards this goal. I suppose I know what I need to do this weekend.

This and That

A lot has happened since I last posted.

Here is the rundown.

We moved. Yes again. For those of you that don't know, we were forced to move out of the house we had been renting back in January because it was getting foreclosed on. We looked and looked and couldn't find anything that we liked. Well we found a couple but we were turned down. Each one we liked had several applications. All the others were dumps. Finally we found one that was only month to month (because it too was getting foreclosed on too). That gave us time to find the one we just moved into a week ago. On the hottest day of the year so far. Yeah, that was fun. So for the last week I've been playing, "Which box did that get packed in?" and trying to get unpacked and organized. Little by little it's coming together.

I've had to shop and buy some things for the house. It never fails, the little things you need to make a house livable, how the things that worked in the last house don't work here. Like the basket that I keep all the medications in. I keep all the meds in the cabinet above the microwave. Out of reach of little hands. Well the basket that I kept them in for the last 5 years, the one that worked in the last 4 houses we lived in, didn't fit in this cabinet. So I had to get several smaller baskets to hold the meds.

Then there is the guest bath. I've always wanted a guest bath with a pedestal sink, and I finally have one. Of course I haven't had a guest bath in the last couple of houses, so I had to figure out how to decorate that room. On a budget. Not having a cabinet in the bathroom makes storage more interesting too. I had some silver candle holders in there that my aunt gave me for Christmas several years ago that really didn't match anything in any of my other rooms. I decided to use them, get some white towels, and go with a clean spa like theme for the room. I found a spare toilet paper roll storage container in chrome, as well as an artificial calla lily arrangement in a silver colored pot. I picked up a chrome wire basket to hold the extra towels. Somewhere around here I swear I have a white bathroom rug, but I have no idea what box it's in. If I don't find it by next weekend, I'll probably go buy another one. (then I will find it, LOL) All that's left is to find something to hang on the walls. As soon as it's done I'll post some pics.

I finally got a new phone. After the insurance sent me two more Frankenstein phones, my husband finally got them to agree to send me a BRAND NEW PHONE. The catch, they don't make the pink ones anymore. They still have them in the store, but the insurance does not have any. They tell the hubby they will send the silver phone and maybe the store will trade it for a pink one. Ya, the store said no deal since it wasn't from their inventory they couldn't swap it. So he made yet another call to the insurance, and after they tried to extort another $50 deductible from him, he finally got them to pay for a brand new pink phone for me. Wow, it's only been like 3 weeks now. I tell you one thing. I'm not keeping my phone in my back pocket any more.

Random

I don't have the time or energy to write a long post tonight.

Here are some completely random things that are on my mind.

Tomorrow we get the keys to our new (rental) house.

I haven't packed anything.

Unless you count the fact that I only unpacked half the stuff we moved out of the last house.

In that case you could say I'm half packed.

Or half baked.

I have been feeling yucky all day.

Like I'm getting sick.

I don't have time to be sick, since I am:
Moving this weekend.
Working a crapload next week.

So I keep telling myself I'm not getting sick.

And I should go to bed early tonight.

But I need to take a bath before I go to bed.

I wore flip flops all day.

My feet feel dirty.

I can't sleep when my feet feel dirty.

I think I'm addicted to my job

Really, seriously, I like it that much. I haven't blogged in a week because I've worked so much. And you know what else? Last week I averaged even more than my highest paying job ever. Now that I'm getting the hang of it more, I'm making even MORE money. When you have a hubby that hasn't worked since November, money is a really good thing. So I can't stop myself. Every time I have an opportunity to work, I do. It's crazy that I can go in for a few hours and walk out with a wad of cash. I still can't get over it.

I had to take today off because we were getting our taxes done. Yeah, I know, way to leave it to the last minute. In my defense, we didn't have the money to pay the tax guy, and since he kinda wants to get paid for his work too... it had to be left until now. Good news is we will be getting some back, even after sending a chunk to Michigan and paying the tax guy his rather hefty fee. Gotta love having to file federal plus three different states.

They gave me tomorrow off too. Two days off in a row. I was really tempted to try and pick up a shift or two, but I decided that since these were my first days off in 8 days, I should maybe take them and relax a little. Absense makes the heart grow fonder and all that stuff.

Tomorrow we get to go see the house we will be moving into in a couple of weeks. We've seen it once before, but that was before new carpet and paint. I took some pictures, but not enough. I have great pictures of the closets, but couldn't tell you what the rooms look like. It's got fabulous closets. I'm actually going to have my own linen closet in MY bathroom. For a packrat like me that is beyond awesome. Unfortunately the house was designed by someone who doesn't cook because it is lacking a pantry. Really? Like it didn't occur to this person that people might actually need to store FOOD somewhere in the house? So the hubby is going to have to build a pantry into one of the closets off the kitchen. We need to scope out the particulars of that little project. We also forgot to take a tape measure last time. Our couch is rediculously huge and we need to figure out how it's going to fit.

After that, one of my friends is taking me to lunch for my birthday. Yeah, my birthday that was over a month ago. The last time she offered I ended up picking up a shift and working instead. I swore I wouldn't flake on her again this time. I am kinda thinking about having her take me to the restaurant where I work though. I think I'm having withdrawls.

Hopefully I will have time to blog about something other than my fabulous job tomorrow too.

Goodbye 2008

It's New Year's Eve. Tomorrow will be the first day of 2009. Here's to hoping that it will be a better year for us. 2008 kinda blew chunks.

In this new year there are many changes coming. I know we will be moving, but where is still a question. The hubby is still holding out hope for Michigan and starting his business, but I have my reservations. The kids and I have friends here, and after four and a half years, are finally kinda settled here. The thought of starting over again in a new town scares the crap out of me.

The move date is quickly approaching, and so we need to make a decision. Right now the house we have been renting is in escrow and the new owner should take over mid January. If so, we can stay until the middle of March, but no longer. If for any reason the sale does not go through we will have to be out by the end of January.

I've been looking at other houses out here and yesterday found a really nice one. It has a lot of really awesome features that I really love. I like the built in desk in the kitchen where I could put the computer for the kids to use where they could be supervised. Plus it has a 5th bedroom that I have already claimed for an art studio. The room even has wood floors. No worries about glitter in the carpet.

This past year I've really been noticing that there is something missing in my life. I feel like my entire identity is tied to being a wife and a mom. I'm wondering who I am. I realize that the one thing I really miss is my art. Whether it is doing crafty Christmas decorations, sewing, scrapbooking, or painting, I find that even though I have all the supplies, I don't have a place. Starting a project means finishing it and cleaning it up before dinnertime, so most of the time I don't even start.

Thinking about possibly having a place to call my own, a place where I could have all my stuff in one place and not have to dig it out of the garage when I want to work on something, makes me giddy. I don't want to get too excited yet, it's a little early considering I've only seen pictures of this house, but I can't help it, and that makes me nervous. Even as I write this I worry that I may be jinxing it.

And then there's this blog. When I started it in January, I had some vague ideas of what I wanted it to be, but it too has evolved and changed over the last year, becoming things that I would have never imagined. I feel that it too is having an identity crisis. On one hand it's a mom blog, complete with stories and anecdotes about parenting, but on the other hand, it's becoming a crafting blog, as I find more and more other crafting blogs, and get inspired to bring out the long dormant artist in me.

So the question is this... Do you find my blog to be a little schizofrenic? Should I split my blog into two? Should one be more of me on parenting the ADD child, and the other for me the artist showcasing my projects? I'm putting a poll in my sidebar so you can vote.

It's a Christmas Miracle

Tip Junkie is having a Virtual Tour of Homes. Some of these ladies have the most amazing decorations. I'm definitely inspired for next year. I hope everyone enjoys checking mine out.

I actually posted this several days before signing up for the home tour, so for those of you that are new to my blog, here's the Cliff's Notes version of my life for the last few months that will make the rest of this post make sense (or you could just look at the pictures). The house that I am renting is being foreclosed on and the owner has had it up for sale trying to save her butt. There is finally an offer on it and we had been told we had to be out by December 30th. So I wasn't going to put up a tree or decorate, and put up a Charlie Brown tree instead.


Yup. That would be my real Christmas tree, up and decorated in my house. If you would like to see more detail of my ornaments, you can click here. Last weekend we got a call from the agent representing the buyer of our house. The buyer who isn't really in any big hurry to kick us out, but was worried we'd give her a hard time because apparently my landlord has been talking shit. Telling the buyer that I was angry and bitter, and had stopped paying rent. Damn Skippy I stopped paying rent. I was pretty sure the landlord already spent my deposit and I wasn't getting it back without taking her to court, so I told her to use it for the rent for the last couple months, and I've been putting my money in the bank instead. So last Saturday the buyer came over and after a lengthy chat she said that she was in no hurry to move in. In fact she said that she wouldn't be able to move in right away because she had 23 years of stuff to go through in her current home. AND she said she would be happy to rent to us month to month until we figure out what we are doing. So with the pressure off of having to move 5 days after Christmas, we went ahead and put up our tree.

And all of these guys. The mini tree that I made 100 of for my kids old school's Christmas boutique. The little sock snowman, and coke bottle reindeer that one of the kids made The origami trees my kids are putting all over my house. The Christmas tree made out of bulbs that I bought at Harrah's after Christmas for like $5 bucks, Score! The 2x4 snowman that one of the kids made, and our advent calendar.

And... my gingerbread villiage.

The Charlie Brown tree is still up too, but it's not the only thing now.

I just made this wreath. For more info about it, you can click here.

This is the birdhouse I've had for about 10 years and finally figured out what to do with thanks to my friend Maria .

And finally, this is what we do with our stockings in Arizona since we have no mantels.

Movies and Moving

My morning started off with getting the kids together and heading for the movie theatre. After lightening my wallet considerably buying tickets, popcorn, candy, and drinks, we saw Bolt. Well actually the little two and I saw Bolt while the oldest and her boyfriend chose Madagascar. Bolt was really cute, and the really great computer animation of Hollywood made me homesick.

Then we came home and I made the little two sort through their boxes in the garage, trying desperately to slim down the crap we are going to have to move in what is now 31 days. This is Tiff sorting her stuff.

Notice how thrilled she looks? She was upset that it was taking so long. Do you also see that she is wearing a baby doll bib, one purple glove, an arm band, a watch, and a bracelet. This was before she put on the headband with two feathery antenae and a purple hair clip. She spent more time playing with the stuff than sorting it. She ended up purging one box of stuff.

Next it was Kimberly's turn. She didn't have as much to start with, and still managed to purge a box as big as Tiff did. I didn't get any pictures, because she was finished rather quickly. I think she may be the only one in the house lacking the pack rat gene.

Tomorrow will be Aimee's turn. She currently has more boxes than both of her sisters put together, but since I know she just packed everything she found into boxes, I'm sure once we remove the candy wrappers, garbage, hangers, and dirty clothes we should reduce her pile by half. That's the goal at least.

The Real Reason I Showed Up Today

Ok. I didn't just decide to blog about vasectomies today. I actually logged in to blogger today to update all my internet stalkers on the progress of our move.

We officially have a date. We still don't know where we are going. Nice, Huh? Ya. So on Wednesday I get an email from our landlord that informs me that she finally has gotten an offer on the house and there is some addendum these people want me to sign stating that I WILL be out by December 30th. So there it is. December 30th. 32 days from today.

Yesterday I crawled into a corner and hid. Not literally, but I did read all day which totally pissed off the hubby. We ended up fighting and then making up, after I explained to him that the only way I can cope right now is not to think about it. We don't want to move to Michigan until we have at least the beginnings of some investment in our business. Otherwise we are in Michigan with nothing to do but freeze our asses off. Have I mentioned that the highs there lately have been hovering around the freezing mark? Yeah, the HIGHS, freezing. WTF? So if we don't have some investment in the next 32 days, we are stuck either having to sign a lease on a place here for way longer than we are going to be staying here, or be homeless. I spent a good part of my morning yesterday trying to find month to month or short term rentals here in AZ. After not finding anything that would remotely meet our needs, I was in an understandably shitty mood. Rather than take it out on my family, I decided to leave them all alone and read a book.

So after explaining to the hubby that I wasn't trying to be mean to him, only trying to not lose my mind, he told me just to relax and let him handle it. Yeah, because that's so easy and I totally haven't tried that yet.

Insomniac Rambling

It's 2:30 in the morning and I can't sleep. Might have something to do with the three hour long nap I took from five to eight p.m. but maybe not.

I've got a lot on my mind. In the last 12 hours I almost decided to move my family to Michigan, and then talked myself out of it. Talk about a whirlwind. I'm slightly impulsive. Have you figured this out yet?

A lot has been happening since I last blogged. I've been recuperating from my seizure incident and am happy to report that I appear to be in perfect health. I haven't been able to drive though, so my activities have been limited. Being cooped up in the house with kids all summer is about as much fun as a root canal.

Remember a while back I blogged about quiet time, yeah, there hasn't been any of that here for the last two months.

So I've been thinking a lot about how not fun it is being a pseudo-single mom. You see my husband works out of town so when he is working he is gone. We need him to work eight or nine months out of the year to be able to pay for nice things like a roof over our head and something more nutritious than top ramen to eat every night. Not that top ramen isn't yummy.

Single moms have my utmost respect. I don't know how they do it. On top of everything I do, manage the house, pay the bills, cook, clean, taxi the kids to soccer and other activities, oversee homework, make appointments and actually remember to deliver the kids to the doctor, dentist, orthodontist, and eye doctor, they actually have to WORK to make the money to pay for every thing. On their own!!! Not that I don't work. I have a fun little job that I do during the day while the kiddos are in school which allows me to contribute a couple hundred dollars to our monthly budget. I don't have to worry about making enough to pay for the roof, food, and other essentials. My hubby rules in that department.

With that said, living apart from your one and only true love for any amount of time blows chunks, so I keep trying to figure out how to fix it. If my hubby worked only in one state it would be simple, live in that state, but life isn't that simple. His latest job is taking him to Michigan and it appears that it might be for longer than his usual 3 month stint. It might be 6 or 9. So the plan was hatched to move there for a year. For a girl who grew up in sunny California and then moved to even more sunny Arizona, living somewhere with snow sounded kinda fun. Think of the blogging I could have done about the evils of snow shoveling. Everything was on hold waiting to get the call that he was going for sure.

Today that call came. He leaves Friday. All of a sudden we had to figure out how to make our plan a reality. But after much deliberation, u-Haul rental quotes, input from the children, etc. the hubby and I decided it made more financial sense to stay put. Damn finances. Can't I win the power ball already? So here I am getting ready to face another several months being the one woman show.

Which brings me to gratitude. People are always asking me how I do it. My biggest secret is I always try to think about how lucky I am. I have many friends who have spouses in the military. Many of them have dealt with their husbands being gone for a year at a time. The most my husband is ever gone is three months and nobody is shooting at him or trying to blow him up. In comparison to them I have it easy. When I start to feel sorry for myself having to manage the kids and the house alone, I think of the single moms that have to bring home the bacon too. No matter what comes my way I can always look at it and see that even though it might seem terrible on the surface, I'm still quite fortunate. Sure I might rant now and then (my blog might be boring if I didn't), but after the ranting is over I always find a way to be thankful.

I don't wanna

If it's not one thing, it's another. How's that for a cliche. After having such a fabulous (insert sarcasm here) year, hubby getting hurt, me getting sick, etc. Now I find out that my landlord is having issues paying the mortgage on the house I'm living in. Another victim of our souring housing market. So after living here for a year, I'm now faced with having to move. AGAIN. Grr.

I don't like moving. I don't like finding boxes, packing all my stuff up, and lifting those boxes to move them somewhere else. I have a lot of stuff. I suffer from being a pack rat. Moving forces me to go through all my stuff and face the reality that I probably don't need all of it. I have a whole car space in my garage filled with boxes of stuff that haven't been unpacked since the last move, but I know that the minute I get rid of something I will then, of course, need it.

Then there is the fact that we really like this house. It fits us. It's got a great layout, and a pool! What are the chances that we will find another house to rent as teriffic as this one. The whole thing just makes me sick.